Surely One of the Saddest Things Ever… and the Remedy

I look at her withdrawn, held back, unwilling to come join the rest of us.

I beckon. She stiffens.

Scars from past abandonment, neglect, and abuse hold her like chains to her chosen spot. She will not come.

I see myself in her. I see how I braced myself against warmth because I had believed the lie that I didn’t need it. I see how I held back from love- deep and lavish- because I decided I could do without it. And slowly, a bit at a time, the cold I surrounded myself with seeped deeper into my soul and distorted my vision of the love available to me.

I see it clearly now…that surely one of the saddest things ever is to be deeply and lavishly loved but not have the eyes to perceive it.

What a tragedy, to get to the other side of life and see how one could have lived- as a dearly beloved child of God, sure of His love and unfailing goodness.

How does one miss this? How do God’s people miss this incredible life?

I look at her and I see myself. I see how I did it, how I missed it for so long: I failed to “lay hold.”

“…So that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:12

Just as she is in our household, never to leave, always identified with us, so I am in Christ. He is my brother, my family, and I am in the household of God. He has reached down and laid hold of me (Phil 3:12) and has taken me from the domain of darkness and abuse and rejection and pain and transferred me into the kingdom of the family- His beloved Son (Col 1).

And I can either sulk and hold back and piddle in the corner with my little pet toy, or I can reach out with both hands and press forward and lay hold of that which has laid hold of me.

The remedy for rejection is acknowledging the acceptance offered in Christ.

The remedy for neglect is embracing the love and warmth extended me in Jesus.

The remedy for abuse is running to the table of fellowship with Him, where I am always welcomed, loved, and nourished back to health.

Hiding out in the corner never did anyone any good…except the enemy who wishes to single us out from the rest to devour us.

Surely I must help my precious one learn to embrace the new, push forward to the warmth, and lay hold.

We’ll do this together, she and I. We will learn together how to come out of our corners, how to put down our pet emotions, how to stretch out our hands and open our arms wide and embrace the grace that has been lavished on us.

Together, we will lay hold.


8 Comments on “Surely One of the Saddest Things Ever… and the Remedy”

  1. Sarah Mae says:

    Your writing is beautiful…your blog is a hidden gem! Thank you for whoever you are.

  2. kendal says:

    lay hold…i love it when someone helps me hear biblical words i’ve never noticed before. beautiful.

  3. erika says:

    Your writing is beautiful, thank you for so openly sharing your struggles, your journey. Thank you for opening your heart to adopt precious ones who need a family, ones to call their own and patiently walk with them through pain. May God richly bless you and pour himself out on you.

  4. Angela says:

    I think she sounds a lot like me. Love your blog, so glad Sarah Mae posted it on her site. I signed up to receive your updates. I look forward to reading more …

    In Him,


  5. […] I understand my girl’s tendency to withdraw better than ever… When you’re not used to a warm, welcoming table… […]

  6. […] the path takes me to the place of laying hold. He’s got a hold of me and won’t let go and it is my part to make every effort to lay […]

  7. […] the old patterns and habits are a thing of the past and we fully possess the promise and we have “laid hold.” “Every place on which the sole of your foot treads {tramples}, I have given it to you, just […]

  8. […] She’s done it to spite me, this child resistant to grace. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s