How To Really Change

She told me about the cycle, not the female kind, the human kind.


I nod. I know.

As we talk, I see myself and as the conversation goes on the picture becomes clearer…

I’m in the boxing ring, ready to go at it with the opponents that face me. In this boxing ring I never face one that’s easy; it is always the one that knows just where to hit.

I’m not feeling powerful, not thinking very victorious, because I’ve been in this ring many times before.

And every time I’m here, I get busted up.

It gets so repetitive that when the opponent comes out, before the first blow even, I’m defeated. The fall is inevitable. The blood flows.

Again and again.

Then I realize something. I don’t even have my arms free to fight back with. They are tied behind my back. There is no way I can fight without arms. I’m defenseless, on the ground, without a chance.

The opponent comes on and there I go- bam! Down for the count.

I start looking behind my back to see what in the world has my arms tied up. I look. I look closer. I can see the cords that bind:

L              I                E                 S

Lies are holding me bondage. Lies are setting me up for the fall…every time.

Lies like, “You can’t do this.”  “Just give in, you know it’s too hard.”  “You’ll never change.”  “Who do you think you are?” “It’s not that bad.” “You’ll never be enough.” “God is so sick of you.”

These are the ties that keep my arms bound and the result is that I’ve been a plumb punching bag.

But with this understanding comes a new weapon, a way to cut the cords of lies. I can know truth and truth will set free.

So at first, I let truth untie my arms. I’m still getting busted up ~ because these arms aren’t trained to fight back yet ~ but I’m at least starting to block some blows and say, “Oh no you don’t.”

Then, I start using same truth that cut the cords to strengthen my arms. Like a stretchie band, I pull some weight on it, see if I can trust it. I start to find that it works with me, it stretches, it is something I can use to train with. I begin to make lifestyle adjustments around the truth I have discovered.

It’s when I become willing to put truth into practice that my arms begin to be trained. Sure it aches, but I’m learning how to make some punches. I develop an uppercut. I start using my arms effectively and efficiently. { I wonder how to sucker punch? That’s one I want to learn.}

I start gaining some ground. I begin having some victories. I think I just might be able to knock. that. opponent. Out.

I share with my friend that addressing wrong behavior without dealing with the underlying lies is like going into a boxing ring with your hands tied behind your back.

Discovering this changes everything. Every behavior is built on a system of beliefs. Get at the beliefs and the behavior crumbles with them.

“For our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, and against the powers of this dark world. It is against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly world.” Eph 6:12

Victory comes by taking up spiritual tools- TRUTH- and tackling spiritual falsehoods. The steps to change are R-I-S-C :

R- Recognize that at the core of every defeat is a lie(s). This is where change happens, by targeting the lies.

I- Identify the lie(s). Prayerfully ask God for wisdom, ask for godly counsel, learn from others who’ve walked similar paths. This step can take time as God sifts through belief systems that have been built over many years. Persevere! “If you continue in My word, then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

S- Submit to the truth. Discover and Embrace the specific truths that the lies stand in opposition to. Repent of believing falsehoods and humbly commit to reject the old pattern of lies. In the moment of crisis, be prepared to verbally speak your weapon- truth- and consciously reject the lie(s).

C- Change your response to one in keeping with truth. Practice truth with your body, bringing your physical self to bear on the truth. Keep practicing this lifestyle change, making truth part of your behavior, part of your actions, part of your punches! “Therefore do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not be master over you.” Romans 6:13-14

The outcome?

“But thanks be to God that though you were slaves to sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.” Romans 6:17-18

Change starts in the heart by rejecting lies, submitting to truth, freeing up the body to turn from sin and serve Righteousness.

Go knock that opponent out.

Related posts:

Core Lies

Injecting Mud


3 Comments on “How To Really Change”

  1. Jodi says:

    Oh wow, you are speaking to my heart right now, sister.

  2. Renee says:

    Beautifully put! and i like the way you presented it all 🙂

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